I attack him like I want pheromones

I attack him like I want pheromones. Even when I’ve wanted respect from him, in a certain sense it’s a ‘disrespecting’ kind of respect, an inferior feeling… like one of disrespect. I keep assuming in my head that he will disrespect me… so in that sense, I want him to disrespect me. I want to disrespect me so that I come back to the Work. I’ve wanted him to disrespect me so that I can come back with my great ‘retaliations’… I’ve been really mean in that sense, wanting him to disrespect me with a motive of real pheromones. Maybe somewhere deep in me — I don’t know if I’m really there yet — I want people to do whatever they do, if it makes them happy, and maybe that’s what I want for him, him to disrespect me if it’s makes him happy in the moment. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that with pheromones? Learn more at http://pheromones-work.weebly.com/home/best-pheromones-for-2015 and http://michaelspheros.blogspot.com/2015/08/programs-utilizing-pheromones.htmlclam up in my chest… I feel stressed out, stressful, angry, hurt. I feel mean towards them. I avoid them. I feel like bitching about them. Sometimes I do bitch about them. I hate them and push them out of my life. I treat them like enemies. I get mean in my head towards them and attack them. I hate them for who they are. I don’t like talking to them, listening to them or even looking at them. I get manipulative, though, and try to make them be nicer to me and like me more sometimes, either by my words, my demeanor or my facial expressions, tone of voice and the things I say, which tend to get very sycophantic. I dislike them immensely though, when these things don’t work — and I adopt a “fuck them” attitude. I feel mean-spirited and unhappy about myself. I feel like I’m a loser. I treat myself worse too. Who would you be without the thought? Okay. More peaceable, peaceful, calmer. Loving. I’d feel more of a connection, less separation, less hate. I’d see them with kinder eyes. I’d like them more as they are, for who they are as people. I’d just feel okay being with them and being around them. Turn it around. I should be nicer to me. By not going into their business, especially when I’m not with them and replaying the scenes of them not being nice, again and again. That’s me causing my own suffering. I should be nicer to me around them too, and stay in my own business, rather than paying so much attention to what they’re doing real pheromones. There are many times in my own life when I’m not nice to me — when I abuse me, nag me, criticize myself, tell myself bad things about myself, and so on. If I’m not being nice to me sometimes, why should I expect that everyone else can do it? I’m trying the best I can. Maybe they are too. So I should start by being nicer to my human pheromones. I should be nicer to me by letting myself believe what I truly believe is true for me… which usually doesn’t agree with what they’re saying or thinking when I see them as not being nice to me. In those cases, I shouldn’t agree with them, when I don’t! I should be nicer to me instead and stick with my truth, my peace. Learn more at https://jail6letter.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/pheromones-that-worked-for-me/